Issue #0020:My Brothers Are the Reason I Need Nine Lives
By Luna | Daily Mew Staff
I have two brothers.
This is not a complaint. It is a statement of the unfortunate circumstances surrounding my existence.
One is enormous. The other is exhausting.
Neither possesses the ability to mind his own business.
Exhibit A: Ziggy
Yesterday, Ziggy spent twenty minutes staring at a closed door.
He informed BK that something was wrong with it.
The problem?
It was closed.
I would like to remind everyone that Ziggy has lived in a building with doors his entire life.
He has apparently learned nothing.
Exhibit B: BK
BK believes that every surface, every toy, and every available moment of attention belongs to him.
He has also appointed himself the authority on absolutely everything.
Nobody voted.
There was no election.
He simply began issuing opinions, and now we're all expected to listen.
Exhibit C: The Conspiracy
My brothers frequently accuse me of being difficult.
I find this fascinating, considering I spend most of my day quietly minding my own business while they manufacture problems.
A door is closed.
A food bowl is insufficiently full.
Someone is sitting in someone else's spot.
Somebody looked at somebody.
And somehow, I am expected to participate.
I have decided that my brothers are not intentionally annoying.
That would require planning.
In Conclusion
I love my brothers.
Unfortunately, they are my brothers.
I have requested a private room, unlimited treats, and a formal apology.
So far, management has approved none of these requests.
I will be taking a nap.
Preferably behind a closed door.
— Luna 💜
The Daily Mew | Looney & the Coons
Everyday chaos. Extraordinary cats.
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