Issue #0015: KING FILES FORMAL COMPLAINT AGAINST LITTERBOT
By The Daily Mew Staff
Royal restroom reportedly found “upside down” at time of need; BK questions machine’s respect for the Crown
CANVAS & CHORDS — A routine trip to the litter box has escalated into a royal dispute after King BK announced that he is formally dissatisfied with the household LitterBot, citing what he described as a repeated failure to provide restroom access when His Majesty requires it.
According to BK, the problem occurs with unacceptable frequency.
“Why is it always upside down when I have to pee?” BK said.
[Editor’s Note: It is not always upside down when BK has to pee.]
The LitterBot periodically rotates as part of its normal cleaning cycle. BK maintains that while such maintenance may be necessary, the machine should know better than to begin—or continue—a cleaning cycle when the King approaches.
“There are three cats in this house,” BK said. “Only one of them is King. This should not be difficult.”
[Editor’s Note: The LitterBot does not recognize royal titles.]
Unable to access the royal restroom, BK elected not to wait for the cleaning cycle to finish and instead relocated to a nearby sink.
The decision immediately created a second household crisis when Ziggy learned where his brother had gone.
“I drink out of there,” Ziggy said.
BK declined to accept responsibility for the resulting concern, calling Ziggy’s choice of drinking locations “a Ziggy problem.”
Luna, meanwhile, questioned the judgment of both parties.
“One pees in the sink. The other drinks out of the sink,” she said. “And somehow I live with both of them.”
BK has requested that future LitterBot cleaning cycles be scheduled around his personal restroom needs, though it remains unclear how the machine is expected to determine when those needs will occur.
[Editor’s Note: No schedule was provided.]
The King has also declined to rule out continued use of alternative facilities.
At press time, the LitterBot remained operational and had issued no apology to the Crown.
ROYAL RATING: ⭐☆☆☆☆
“Would reconsider if it learned some respect.” — BK
Related News
Ziggy Petitions for Separate Drinking Fountain Sources say Ziggy has submitted a formal request for “a dedicated hydration station that is not subject to BK’s… activities.” The household has acknowledged receipt of the petition and promised to “review it at their earliest convenience,” which historically means never.
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