Issue #0013: STRUCTURAL DAMAGE DISCOVERED; LOCAL CAT EQUALLY CONFUSED

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STRUCTURAL DAMAGE DISCOVERED; LOCAL CAT EQUALLY CONFUSED

By BK, Royal Correspondent

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Possible earthquake leaves structural damage and one local Maine Coon shaken; cause remains suspiciously close to the scene.

CANVAS & CHORDS — Residents reported a sudden disturbance Thursday evening after a loud crash shook the area, prompting concerns of a possible seismic event.

The source of the disturbance remains under investigation.

Shortly after the incident, significant structural damage was discovered along with Ziggy, a local Maine Coon, sitting directly beside it. When questioned, Ziggy appeared just as confused as investigators.

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DENIAL ISSUED — Ziggy denied any involvement in the newly discovered structural damage, stating simply, “It wasn’t me.” Luna declined to comment, though her expression has been entered into evidence.

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When questioned, Ziggy appeared just as confused as investigators.

“It wasn’t me,” he said. “There was an earthquake. It knocked me over.”

[Editor’s Note: No seismic activity was reported.]

Investigators have not ruled out an earthquake, though early evidence has raised questions about that theory. Ziggy has a documented history of reaching considerable speeds on smooth surfaces, where the excessive fur surrounding his paws reportedly makes braking more of a suggestion than a reliable function.

[Editor’s Note: Ziggy was observed running immediately before the incident.]

Despite his proximity to the damage, Ziggy continues to maintain his innocence.

“I think we should be looking for the earthquake,” he said.

Ziggy further claimed the timing of his fall supports his theory. “The wall shook, and then I fell down,” he explained. “That’s what earthquakes do.”

[Editor’s Note: The wall shook after Ziggy hit it.]

Luna, who was nearby at the time of the incident, declined to provide an official statement.

She did, however, look at Ziggy.